What's on my mind?

I'm bored of London, I'm bored of England, I'm bored of the UK right now.

I'm thinking I need to go move to Australia or Canada for a year.

2012 feels like a year for something drastic and leaving this depressing, recession laden town seems to be the only thing I can think of because who gives a flying fuck about the cruddy olympics. Such a huge waste of money anyway. (Wouldn't mind getting some work experience at the press office tho)

(On a seperate entirely superficial note I don't think Bradley Cooper should have won the sexiest man alive title. He seems like such a smug douchebag who thinks his way hotter than he actually is)

I support the anti-capitalist protesters camped outside St Paul's. They are standing up for the little man. Everyone of us who pays taxes and puts money into corrupt government driven by money and big business. I couldn't make up my mind where I stood on this before but now I know which side I'm on. I hope they can stay there as long as possible and I think one day I'll pass by and have a chat with a few of them.

Need to start buying CDs again. I love the ease of downloading of course I do but I actually would like to go back to having discs and album sleeves again. I don't think we should let the CD die. I plan on buying them anyways and the first one I'm going to buy after sooo long is going to be Missy Elliot's first album Supa Dupa Fly just because it's such a classic to me. I'll probably come back and moan about scratching a CD and how much I hate them in a few days...

Damn it :(

Frank's facial expression just about sums up how I'm feeling right now...

So I was feeling a bit bored and it's the first time in a while I've had some time to myself to just hang around online, anyway I go and check out Frank Ocean's tumblr and what do I find he is coming to London for one night in November!!! BUT the tickets are sold out! Fuck! I'm so pissed off. I'm going to try and call the venue and see if there's any chance of getting tickets any other way...most likely there isn't. This is the first time he'll be performing in London and I'm so curious to see what he'd be like on a stage damn it!:(

Snooki please take a seat!

Just watched the latest episode of Jersey Shore. I have to say I really don't like Snooki anymore. Basically she has a new boyfriend who she's supposedly head over hills in love with however when he flies all the way to Italy to see her the first night they go out to a club she gets CRAZY drunk and lifts up her dress showing all god gave her to the entire club on stage. Come on now. I'm the first to be all for not believing you should have to change just because you're in a relationship but seriously there's things you just don't do. You can't act like that, it's just plain disrespectful to your bf/gf. Tbh the way she acts in clubs is not something I'm down for anyway but that's Snooki, I guess that's why she's famous.


I just find it annoying that she thinks she did nothing wrong and that he should just "except her for who she is" erm why should any normal person except such crazy, drunken, skanky, non-classy behaviour, pleeease! That's not who she is that's what she does when she gets drunk. It just reminds me of these stupid chicks who moan about not being able to find a decent guy when really you look at them and think er HELLO what decent guy would really be checking for you when you have a  bad attitude, dress like you like a pro/stripper and all those other things most people don't find attractive when they're looking for more than just a 1 night stand.

Snooki thinks she can have a loving boyfriend (who generally seems like an OK guy, a tad douchebaggy sometimes but hey) and act slutty. You can't have it both ways. I'm not saying you turn into a nun and stop going out but you certainly can't expect to have a good boyfriend and act like that.

And out of the shit came forth...ideas

So after all the bitching and ranting and raving earlier I kinda thought I wouldn't blog again for another year or something but for some reason I felt compelled to return and bloggeth...Today was just one of those days I guess.

I just watched a bit of this tv show called "young, dumb and living off mum" lol, it kind of spoke to me. Basically it was just a bunch of spoilt teens who are put in a house together and made to do some hard graft for a few weeks. As you can guess the usual stuff happens, you know they all learn about themselves and how useless and crap they are and realise how much they want to turn their lives around wahwahwah, that kind of thing. Anyways it got me thinking about what I could possibly do to make shit happen like I was moaning about before...

I'm going to buy my local paper the Newham Recorder and actually read it. Try and find a gap somewhere, either way I am going to write to them and express my ideas and need for work experience. I've done it before but I'm going to write, email, telephone and basically stalk them to death.

We'll see what happens.It's something

WTF DO I DO NOW!!???

OK...so it's been months and months since I last blogged. Ridiculous. Yes. Shameful. No doubt. Frankly I couldn't care less and I don't even understand how people are motivated to blog so regularly. I find it difficult because as much as I enjoy fashion I'm not interested in blogging about it, there's a hundred million other places for that which I actually regularly check out. Some of the fashion blogs I go on are amazing and sadly I don't want to re-blog there stuff because it's lazy and a cop out. I've just had no desire to do so (yet anyway).

So what else could I blog about? Politics? Society? The recession? All fucking depressing and futile is the honest reason I don't.

So why the fuck am I bothering to blog now you ask? (I ask even) Because I've had enough. I'm totally pissed off. This could be due to a list of things, which I may or may not go into (I'll see how I feel) I might be slightly emotional and pms'd, that might be a reason. That definitely might be a reason...


Reason no. 1
There's the fact it's been over a YEAR since I graduated and I haven't found a job. So my mum and everybody else (but mainly my mum) is pissing me off about it.

Reason no. 2
I work in a shitty retail job that I could give two shits about. And now I'm going to have to work full-time because I can't carry on working 3 days a week and doing nothing for the rest of the time, hoping I find an internship or a job anymore.

Reason no. 3
I feel like shit. ALL THE TIME. I wish I was back in uni. Life SUCKS. Just my luck to have graduated just as this recession went into overdrive and students and young adults in general are completely in the shit.

Reason no. 4
I haven't been able to get anymore internships. So I feel like I'm going to be stuck working as a sales assistant for the rest of my sad little life.

Reason no. 5
I'm angry with my best friend...this is a long story and to be honest I don't feel like opening up about my entire life on the Internet, only bits and pieces. I don't hate her I just feel like we aren't best friends at the moment and I can't talk to her...

Look this could go on and on, really I could keep on going but it's not going to achieve much. This is just a rant. That's all it is. I can fully embrace that. My problem is I want to write. THAT'S ALL. I just want to write, be creative and yet I can't seem to be able to. I write poems and bits and pieces here and there but I just feel like I'll never be a writer/journalist. It would be simple if I just loved writing about fashion or beauty or politics. All the time. Just for the fun of it. But who am I kidding I don't. Don't get me wrong if I was being paid to do it I wouldn't have a problem but I'm finding it tough to write about anything. I want blogging to be fun for me, not work, not something to impress a potential employer (although it would be nice to do that).

I guess I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of my life AND no I don't mean that in the crazy suicidal way (I think that's way too attention seeking) I just mean it like I said it. I'm sick of myself. I know I'm lazy, obnoxious, careless and frankly hopeless. I honestly know this and I have a long way to go and much to learn but I just need for something to change, I need to make some shit happen...

Another mid-week rant + stuff

I feel a little rude for not blogging over Christmas but I hope you all had a good one! If I'm honest I didn't feel very Christmasy this year, maybe because I have been working at a well known department store (I won't name) in London throughout most of it and often felt close to killing myself after being forced to listen to the continuous onslaught of Christmas music and I guess when your being paid to shove the 'Christmas excitment' down any unsupecting customer's neck it becomes a lot harder to really get into it. Also I think I was just really tired. It wasn't my first choice of place to work but since I've been looking for a job since April I couldn't really not take it. It has been really shocking and annoying how hard it's been this year just to get a shitty sales assistant job! I had so many interviews with so many shops, applied for admin assistant roles, even cleaning jobs(!) and have been rejected by each of them. It's been tough with recession and more people applying.

Anyway it's back to work for me tomorrow and the next few days but before I go off and watch Home Alone 2 (don't judge me) I just wanted to express my anger at the lazy tube drivers who felt the need to go on strike on Boxing day, I had work that day and it took me nearly 3 hours to get home because of it just because the buses were sooo packed with people! It was crazy! And they're planning more strikes, while at the same time hiking up ticket fare prices!! This makes me soo angry because I don't get why we as Londoners have to pay more for a rubbish service. Boris Johnson sort it out!

(And no that isn't me in the picture I just liked the apron)

The Mid-Week Rant

I'd just like to state that although I don't consider myself to be an outright feminist I do think I'm intelligent enough to see how the world works and how men are in control of that and how the majority of them wish women would just please them (mainly sexually) and keep our mouths shut-oh and of course continue to enforce the stupid double standards created to keep women down, by criticising and judging each other on whether we have a "man" in our lives or not, while men rarely criticize each other and always seem to stick together..today is one if those days when I just think it's all bullshit. Call me an angry feminist bitch if u want though, I can take it.