Messed up

Frank Ocean - We All Try

Pawn Shop Blues - Lana Del Rey

This song is so beautiful and tragic, the more I listen to it the more emotional it sounds to me.

Super Rich Kids

What's on my mind?

I'm bored of London, I'm bored of England, I'm bored of the UK right now.

I'm thinking I need to go move to Australia or Canada for a year.

2012 feels like a year for something drastic and leaving this depressing, recession laden town seems to be the only thing I can think of because who gives a flying fuck about the cruddy olympics. Such a huge waste of money anyway. (Wouldn't mind getting some work experience at the press office tho)

(On a seperate entirely superficial note I don't think Bradley Cooper should have won the sexiest man alive title. He seems like such a smug douchebag who thinks his way hotter than he actually is)

I support the anti-capitalist protesters camped outside St Paul's. They are standing up for the little man. Everyone of us who pays taxes and puts money into corrupt government driven by money and big business. I couldn't make up my mind where I stood on this before but now I know which side I'm on. I hope they can stay there as long as possible and I think one day I'll pass by and have a chat with a few of them.

Need to start buying CDs again. I love the ease of downloading of course I do but I actually would like to go back to having discs and album sleeves again. I don't think we should let the CD die. I plan on buying them anyways and the first one I'm going to buy after sooo long is going to be Missy Elliot's first album Supa Dupa Fly just because it's such a classic to me. I'll probably come back and moan about scratching a CD and how much I hate them in a few days...

Disillusioned

I.cannot.get.enough.of.him.

She's in love with a dickhead.

Lana Del Rey

I luv this womans music at the moment. My friend got me into her over halloween, she literally kept playing one of her songs over and over and then she kept singing whilst we were drunk and so although I wasn't very keen at the time I had to go research.

I really like her stuff, it's not what I'd usually go for but she's grown on me. She's kind of enchanting, whether her lips are real or not...

Damn it :(

Frank's facial expression just about sums up how I'm feeling right now...

So I was feeling a bit bored and it's the first time in a while I've had some time to myself to just hang around online, anyway I go and check out Frank Ocean's tumblr and what do I find he is coming to London for one night in November!!! BUT the tickets are sold out! Fuck! I'm so pissed off. I'm going to try and call the venue and see if there's any chance of getting tickets any other way...most likely there isn't. This is the first time he'll be performing in London and I'm so curious to see what he'd be like on a stage damn it!:(

Young destructive love...

This song is well and truly STUCK in my head. I just luv it and the video. It speaks volumes about a toxic relationship but also about the fun, passionate, beautiful parts of the relationship and being in love generally. I just think it's an interesting song and I really like the video just because it's nuts, young, truthful and really who doesn't like watching anything to do with Rihanna these days? I also like how it feels really english. 

YOU have to bring the fun!

I've always admired people who are positive and friendly and want to enjoy themselves.

I really can't stand boring people who can't have fun. I just enjoy people who have a natural youthfulness about them. I always want to be young in mind, if not in body (which doesn't mean I won't try!) I don't want to turn into a boring, old prim and proper lady. It's not me. I think you can do that and still have some class about you.

Anyways it just reminds me of something one of my friends is always saying -"YOU have to bring the fun!" LoL sounds a little cheesy at first but she's right...I was always wanting to be one of those girls who  could light up a room. Like if you invite her out you know you'll have fun, be a little naughty, get all the guys and even the girls attention (in a friendly inviting way)

 Being able to laugh at yourself, smile and start a conversation with absolutely anyone...It's all about confidence and even if you don't have it you fake it till you do! xxx

Snooki please take a seat!

Just watched the latest episode of Jersey Shore. I have to say I really don't like Snooki anymore. Basically she has a new boyfriend who she's supposedly head over hills in love with however when he flies all the way to Italy to see her the first night they go out to a club she gets CRAZY drunk and lifts up her dress showing all god gave her to the entire club on stage. Come on now. I'm the first to be all for not believing you should have to change just because you're in a relationship but seriously there's things you just don't do. You can't act like that, it's just plain disrespectful to your bf/gf. Tbh the way she acts in clubs is not something I'm down for anyway but that's Snooki, I guess that's why she's famous.


I just find it annoying that she thinks she did nothing wrong and that he should just "except her for who she is" erm why should any normal person except such crazy, drunken, skanky, non-classy behaviour, pleeease! That's not who she is that's what she does when she gets drunk. It just reminds me of these stupid chicks who moan about not being able to find a decent guy when really you look at them and think er HELLO what decent guy would really be checking for you when you have a  bad attitude, dress like you like a pro/stripper and all those other things most people don't find attractive when they're looking for more than just a 1 night stand.

Snooki thinks she can have a loving boyfriend (who generally seems like an OK guy, a tad douchebaggy sometimes but hey) and act slutty. You can't have it both ways. I'm not saying you turn into a nun and stop going out but you certainly can't expect to have a good boyfriend and act like that.

You're the boss apple sauce.

moodymusic

 The Weeknd ft Drake - The Zone

I feel disconnected

Oh you know you sexy!

OK today must be hot shoe day or something because I just spotted these sexy shoes at Kurt Geiger. OMG I want them!!!

Invasion of the Wedge

I am really loving the wedge invasion that seems to be going on. Seriously everywhere I look there they are, everywhere I turn everyones talking about them! I've already got one pair but I've been looking out for more and so far these are the ones I've got my eye on...

I saw these suede lovelies in Zara and beelined for them, they look so simple but when I tried them on they looked so chic you can dress them up as well as down.

I spotted these gorgeous tan coloured wedges (suede again) at Office and I've been in love ever since!

I'm not a prude but...

I came across this picture and found it kind of funny and pathetic all at the same time.

It is a pervy British institution after all...

To all The Sun readers,

 It's really sad to see that you still need to see a picture of a topless woman to give some meaning to your little lives, how backward and completely misogynistic of you. As for the women who want to defend this page of porn if you really want a body like this just get down the gym and buy the tits you truly desire because I honestly can't see why else any woman would want to be subjected to this everytime you open up this so-called "family paper." 

To any Page 3 girls,

Props to you for making that money but frankly if all your good for is getting your tits out you deserve to be in that dole queue luv. Didn't you hear we're in a recession!

Oh my!!

I randomly came across a Frank Ocean mixtape called Lonny Breaux-I must be INCREDIBLY late-hey I have Nostalgia Ultra so that must count for something! Anyways this mixtape has 64 songs on it! Yes SIXTY-FOUR. I'm stunned. I can't believe any artist would give away that much music in one go. For FREE. Wow. So anyway I'm currently making my way through it now and I'm already in love all over again. So talented.


Here's the link if your sick of the good music drought we are currently suffering from...
http://www.hotnewhiphop.com/en/view-album/11921-the-lonny-breaux-collection

I ♥ Frank Ocean

Absolutely love this song...the love affair with Frank Ocean continues.

How To Love...

I've been hearing about this song for a while but never really gave it a listen until now. And now I love it I just think it's really honest and I like the message behind it. I think it spoke to me more so because as I mentioned in my other post I am kinda ready to be in a relationship...it sounds so sad but it's true. I realised how easy it is to hate guys and use guy after guy after guy just because you had your heart broken but you have to get over it at some point. You have to be willing to take a chance and look for love again. I always thought it was a sign of weakness to think like that but I'm embracing it. I don't want to be so cold-hearted or always act like I'm so independent and strong I don't need a guy coz it's not true. Anyways I like Lil Wayne's song regardless of the fact he has how many baby mamas, it's kool to hear a track with a lot more depth than we're used to from him where women are concerned.

Lovey Dovey

What can I say, I've been feeling like this for a while now. Maybe because summer is coming to an end again and that whole hot and single thing is starting to seem less and less attractive now. Come on it's logical, it's cold and wet and it's just going to get colder and darker. Who really wants to be single over the winter months? Anyway I wrote a poem while I was in the shower (impressive, huh?). Well I wrote it in my head and then when I jumped out I had to go write it down before I forgot it. So here it goes...

Remember Love

I remember love

Like it was yesterday

She was happy she was free

The little things. Sweet kisses on your forehead

Long warm hugs. Holding hands.

I remember love

Perfect and kind

She stands there, amongst the crowds

The damage. She cared. Her heart beat faster

at the sight of him. That was love

I remember love. Her laughter, her joy

Her wholeness. Shared dreams

Her childish stubbornness in search of silly arguments

The smile. The stare. All knowing.

She knew she'd never forget. When the dust

Settled and the pain the size of a tear drop

now, not a thunderstorm. She remembered.

Love

Longed for it once more and cherished what was

Before.Remember

Remember to love.

  

Would you like some THIGHS with that!

(OK so now I'm currently having a blogging overdose, it's like diarrhea I can't stop now lol...how'd that happen?)

Anyway I have to mention how much I'm obsessed with women's thighs lately. I was talking to one of my friends about Rihanna and we somehow got on to how much we luv her thighs!I've always hated skinny thighs and prefer to see a bit of meat on them but just the right amount of meatiness. I guess have a new found appreciation for thighs now or maybe I'm just a perv but I can't help admiring women with nice body shapes, it's a lot more fun than jealously hating on them I guess.

I would kill for Amber Rose's body anyway but I think she has v nice thighs too

Beyonce's thighs are on point as well

Come on now her entire body is just...HOT

I luv Karla's thighs too! Petite but still shapely

The Floppy Ears Playlist

1. No BS - Chris Brown ft. Kevin McCall
2. Lift Off - Jay Z & Kanye West ft. Beyonce
3. Love On Top - Beyonce
4. Don't Go - Wretch 32
5. The Look of Love - Issac Hayes

Online Indulgences

I felt like giving some insight into my regular places I check out when I'm online at the moment. Thank god I can finally take facebook off that list. I think I'm over it. For some reason I can't help thinking a lot of people will be over social networking soon, it's bound to get old. I just think it's boring now but whatever, my mind might be changed after a few weeks who knows.


Anyways these are the websites:

• Sidereel. Look who am I kidding I like watching stuff preferably before it's on tv and OF COURSE  for free because really who is that much of a mug they actually pay to watch tv episodes online? So yes I do like to catch up on my favourite American shows here. I've been through many a website like this one, from project tv, blinkx, cast tv, tv duck, you name it I've probably used it lol, however Sidereel is my newest friend and I have to say is pretty darn good with uploading the newest ish and what not.
• Next we have the fashion blogs.Now these are mostly made by a bunch of rich girls with not much else to do with themselves but pose around in clothes I can't afford, I don't hold this against them though, hey I love clothes so I can appreciate these wannabes/models who seem to either have photographer boyfriends or just know someone who again has nothing better to do with lives except take pictures of them in pretty outfits all day long. My favs are Karla's Closet, Caroline's Mode, Le Blog De Betty and Fashion Toast. Other fashion ones I like are The Sartorialist, Garance Dore, Le Fashion, Lace and Tea, Daydream Lily and Love, Jolie.
• Now every girl needs some eye candy, especially on mundane and boring days when there are no hotties to be found, cue Fuck Yeah Chris Brown. Mr Brown is just too sexy in my opinion and regardless of his wrongdoings this site has continued to feed and nurture my obsession for him, with tons of sexy shots and expletives, what's not to luv lol
• I really like movies and this website was a recent discovery to me as I hate the stupid PR pushing film reviews I often come across. Best For Film is a great little website, with intelligent and funny reviews and film trivia. And I plan on writing for them asap.
• Finally as much as I'm ashamed to admit to it there is this African-American celeb gossip site that I've often enjoyed sifting through from time to time-OK OK everyday! Bossip is quite the anomaly for me because as much as I hate the fact it panders to every disgusting and outrageous stereotype of black people, it also makes me laugh, more so the comments sections. I can't get enough of the comments left by people, whether they're bitching, defending, hating or cracking jokes I really enjoy reading them. Hideously Hilarious 

And out of the shit came forth...ideas

So after all the bitching and ranting and raving earlier I kinda thought I wouldn't blog again for another year or something but for some reason I felt compelled to return and bloggeth...Today was just one of those days I guess.

I just watched a bit of this tv show called "young, dumb and living off mum" lol, it kind of spoke to me. Basically it was just a bunch of spoilt teens who are put in a house together and made to do some hard graft for a few weeks. As you can guess the usual stuff happens, you know they all learn about themselves and how useless and crap they are and realise how much they want to turn their lives around wahwahwah, that kind of thing. Anyways it got me thinking about what I could possibly do to make shit happen like I was moaning about before...

I'm going to buy my local paper the Newham Recorder and actually read it. Try and find a gap somewhere, either way I am going to write to them and express my ideas and need for work experience. I've done it before but I'm going to write, email, telephone and basically stalk them to death.

We'll see what happens.It's something

WTF DO I DO NOW!!???

OK...so it's been months and months since I last blogged. Ridiculous. Yes. Shameful. No doubt. Frankly I couldn't care less and I don't even understand how people are motivated to blog so regularly. I find it difficult because as much as I enjoy fashion I'm not interested in blogging about it, there's a hundred million other places for that which I actually regularly check out. Some of the fashion blogs I go on are amazing and sadly I don't want to re-blog there stuff because it's lazy and a cop out. I've just had no desire to do so (yet anyway).

So what else could I blog about? Politics? Society? The recession? All fucking depressing and futile is the honest reason I don't.

So why the fuck am I bothering to blog now you ask? (I ask even) Because I've had enough. I'm totally pissed off. This could be due to a list of things, which I may or may not go into (I'll see how I feel) I might be slightly emotional and pms'd, that might be a reason. That definitely might be a reason...


Reason no. 1
There's the fact it's been over a YEAR since I graduated and I haven't found a job. So my mum and everybody else (but mainly my mum) is pissing me off about it.

Reason no. 2
I work in a shitty retail job that I could give two shits about. And now I'm going to have to work full-time because I can't carry on working 3 days a week and doing nothing for the rest of the time, hoping I find an internship or a job anymore.

Reason no. 3
I feel like shit. ALL THE TIME. I wish I was back in uni. Life SUCKS. Just my luck to have graduated just as this recession went into overdrive and students and young adults in general are completely in the shit.

Reason no. 4
I haven't been able to get anymore internships. So I feel like I'm going to be stuck working as a sales assistant for the rest of my sad little life.

Reason no. 5
I'm angry with my best friend...this is a long story and to be honest I don't feel like opening up about my entire life on the Internet, only bits and pieces. I don't hate her I just feel like we aren't best friends at the moment and I can't talk to her...

Look this could go on and on, really I could keep on going but it's not going to achieve much. This is just a rant. That's all it is. I can fully embrace that. My problem is I want to write. THAT'S ALL. I just want to write, be creative and yet I can't seem to be able to. I write poems and bits and pieces here and there but I just feel like I'll never be a writer/journalist. It would be simple if I just loved writing about fashion or beauty or politics. All the time. Just for the fun of it. But who am I kidding I don't. Don't get me wrong if I was being paid to do it I wouldn't have a problem but I'm finding it tough to write about anything. I want blogging to be fun for me, not work, not something to impress a potential employer (although it would be nice to do that).

I guess I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of my life AND no I don't mean that in the crazy suicidal way (I think that's way too attention seeking) I just mean it like I said it. I'm sick of myself. I know I'm lazy, obnoxious, careless and frankly hopeless. I honestly know this and I have a long way to go and much to learn but I just need for something to change, I need to make some shit happen...

Happy Zippity Do Dah

It's obscenely late but I'll say it anyway...Happy New Year! Yeh didn't really mean as much to me either. Anyhow regardless of the lateness I can't help looking back on everything I did last year. 2010 was definately a good one and sadly I can't help thinking 2011 will not be nearly as good as I struggle to get an internship with newspapers/magazines, work my ass off as a part-time sales assistant and try to pay back 2 overdrafts :(
Here's what I'll rememember about 2010...

Graduating

Going to Paris for my 21st

Partying like a rockstar!!

Not to seem too gloomy and depressing I will probably go to Paris again in the summer and I don't intend on giving up on partying until say...NEVER so in the words of Orange the future is (still a little) bright.